A phallus, dicktator or one-eyed trouser snake is a serious thing, used by most people in a restroom, bed or the vicinity of a church, tree or street light. Men have been dicking about their phallus for decades, centuries, millennia. The phallus has been around so to speak.
Based on the duration of its existence and the importance of the phallus to most owners, it is no surprise Mr. Sniffless has been the main or supporting character in tons of movies, books, paintings and statues. But on top of the artistic phallus pyramid sits an South Korean park called Haesindang a.k.a. The Penis Park.
In Haesindang, about 40 minutes south of Samcheok on Korea’s east coast, you can wander around in the penal equivalent of an all you can eat buffet. Where ever you sit, stand or walk, there is always a penis by your side. Sometimes big, sometimes small, sometimes single, sometimes as a member of a group. Stone, wood, metal, plastic, granite it all stands erect in tribute to the schmeckel. With or without a face, disguised as a bell, bench, fountain or fence. Hundreds of them, like a forest with leafless trees.
‘How, when, why?’ Well, once upon a time there was a virgin. A virgin who was soon to be married to the man she walked next to on the beach. Totally in love, all they could do was look into each other’s eyes, not paying attention to anything else. When a giant wave struck them by surprise, the virgin was dragged into the sea, never to be found again.
Not long after the sea took the virgin’s life, all fish disappeared, leaving the village in hunger and despair. But, all changed when a fisherman in need relieved himself mid-sea. The fish returned and things turned for the better once again. This, for some reason or the other, led to the adoration of the pokey-mon since the villagers came up with the theory of: virgin + lack of fish * sea peeing = Penis Park. Its a quotation even Einstein would have trouble understanding.
In the end the legend has given South Koreans an excellent excuse to play with, amongst, between and on tons of phalluses. And boy, don’t they need no encouragement to do so. A visit to Haesindang is a guaranteed joyride since the park and the penis make people very, very happy. Smiles and laughter are never far away in South Korea, but in Haesindang you’ll walk hand in hand with them along what was once known as Sebastianic Sword.
When leaving the Freudian forest, a visit to the opposite fish market is a nice way to thank the virgin and the penis for bringing back the fish.
Haesindang Penis Park
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